Doctors appointment today

I went to the doctors today for my monthly check up and all things look good. I heard the heartbeat as I do at every appointment and it was strong. I'm still having the occasional fainting episode so my doctor did some more blood work to check and see if I'm anemic. I don't really have to do anything even if I am, but she did start me on an Iron supplement anyway.

The doctor I had today was one I hadn't met before and I really like her. She's got a very nice bedside manner. I go back in 4 weeks - for now everything looks good.

The Desk

Here are the before and after pictures of the desk.

We were going to buy a new desk for the office, but we could not figure out how to fit a desk and an armoire in the room. It was at that point I realized we didn't really need the armoire since we just put in a new closet organizer, and that it would probably make a good computer desk.

With a few parts purchased at home depot I was able to add the slide out tray for the keyboard, and allow the doors to open fully to accommodate a chair. It was a fun little project and we are very happy with the results.

Phase One Complete!

So today we finished the change over of the office to the guest room/office. The "before " picture is kind of in progress but you get the idea. After a newly remodeled desk, some paint, and a new closet system we have a new guest room/office. Next step picking paint colors for the baby's room.

She's going to be a soccer player

This baby just won't stop kicking. Last night John thinks he felt the baby move for the first time - it was faint, but he thinks he felt something. She was kicking up a storm up near my ribs (ouch!) and more than the flutters I feel all day, these felt like real kicks! You could actually see a few of them, which is really unbelievable. I think she was really excited about Siena's AMAZING win last night in double OT! They certainly had mom on their side to pull off a win like that. One of the best college games I've ever witnessed - mom would have loved it!

Update on the baby's room: We're not painting this weekend because the paint samples we got were not the right ones. We ended up having to order them on the internet. Once we get them we can order the paint and get the room started. We're still not sure what color we're painting the room. The furniture is dark brown and the bedding is light pink with brown accents. We're thinking about doing a neutral color and accenting the room with a large pink horizontal stripe with a smaller brown stripe on either side. It's kind of hard to visualize, but if I can find a picture I'll post it. Let me know if anyone has any good ideas. You can see the bedding at our other registry on www.rhbabyandchild.com

21 Week Picture

Here I am at 21 weeks pregnant. Things are still tough, but I'm grateful that I feel physically good and my baby is healthy. Right now she weighs 1 pound and is using all of her pound to kick me! She moves all the time and like I said before, she definitely moves more when I'm hungry. It's like she's saying "Hey mom, eat something. I'm starving." Feeling her move is just so amazing and knowing that it's a little girl in there kicking away is so cool. I really feel like I'm getting to know her already. She's already a lot like me. We both get irritable when we're hungry.

We're making progress on the baby's room. Well, we haven't actually started, but we are finalizing paint colors this week and the new guest room is almost done. John did a fabulous job turning our armoire into a desk - it's awesome. Pictures coming soon. We should be able to start the baby's room this weekend. We did finally get out and start our registry. Primarily we're registered at Babies R Us, but we've also registered for our bedding and a few items at Restoration Hardware www.rhbabyandchild.com.

Here SHE is!

Here she is - our little girl. We love the third picture which we are calling her American Idol picture - she's singing already. In the last picture you can see that she is sucking her thumb. Amazing, just totally amazing.

It was an amazing day among so many sad days. It was devastating to not be able to call my mom on the way out of the doctors office like I normally would have. I know she would be so happy to hear that we're having a little girl. It's really hard to do this without her, but I'm so very grateful to have so much support and enthusiasm from my family and friends. I hope this little one knows how important she already is to so many people. It's all just so hard and I only hope I can teach this baby what a great "Grammy" she had. It hurts so much to know that she'll never get to meet her.

On a positive note, I did start to feel the baby move last week, which is amazing. It started just when my mom told me it would - 20 weeks. I like to think Peg had something to do with that. And now she is moving all the time - especially when I'm hungry. I think it's her way of making sure I'm eating enough.

Sad

This was not an easy week for me and Baby O and it's not getting any easier. I can't believe shes gone and that she won't ever meet this baby. More specifically - I will never get to see her meet this baby. As well intentioned as people are when they say that she is with us and she will see the baby, it doesn't make it any better. I want her to be here. I want her to be with me. I miss her so much. I hate that I can't call her. I hate that we are no longer making plans for when she will come down to stay with me after the baby is born. What do I do without my mother? How will I make it through? I just don't believe it. It can't be true.

There are just not enough words. It feels as if nothing will be normal again.