Rough Day

Today is going to be a rough day, not that every day hasn't been rough, but today is one month since mom died. I still can't believe it actually happened. I struggle every single day to try and understand that this is real and that she's not here anymore. I miss her more and more every day. At least a few times a week I think to myself "I haven't talked to mom in a while. I should give her a call." Then I remember that I can't. I haven't gone a month without talking to my mother ever in my whole life. I still just don't understand this and I hate it - I hate this feeling. I want to go back in time and somehow make it not happen. I dream about her all the time. I miss her so much.